Rebuilding A Marriage While Serving Others

Krystal and Deon have been married for 10 years, but somewhere along the way, they realized they were losing each other. “We became kid-focused,” Krystal said, “not so much marriage focused.” As their frustrations with each other increased, Krystal would go to the church and ask for something to do. She hoped to get her mind off of her marriage problems. “I’d arrive out of sorts, but feel better when I left—often without even talking about my problems. I got to step outside myself. For somebody else. It felt good. It really started transforming my heart.”

Krystal served wherever she was needed—which for some time was in Kidscoast with the 4th and 5th graders. She enjoyed going through the lessons with the kids and listening to them jump in to explain Bible stories to each other that weren’t the easiest to understand even for adults. Krystal talked to them about bullying and differences between people. And there was nothing like a child coming up and saying they wanted to get baptized. “I got to be a part of their journey,” she said.

Krystal’s husband, Deon, started serving in the church, too. With the babies. “He was like a baby whisperer or something,” Krystal said. “People we serve with would come up to me and say all these things about Deon. ‘Your husband is so amazing.’ It was eye-opening. It made me stop to reexamine things, step back and look at him differently, from another perspective. I wanted to be open to what they saw in him. And it helped so much.”

Over the next two years, God helped Krystal and Deon restore their marriage, each one willing to look inward and work on themselves along with their marriage. Although neither Krystal nor Deon had chosen to serve in the church for that reason, God blessed them for their obedience and desire to help others, even while they were going through their own personal issues—maybe especially while they were going through their own personal issues. 

“I got to step outside myself. For somebody else. It felt good. It really started transforming my heart.”
– Krystal Flowers, Summerville Campus

“We are transparent about our marriage and our problems,” Krystal said. “The enemy wants things kept in the dark where they can’t heal. But the more open we are, we can receive help, and help others in turn.” 

Sometimes it may seem like you have too many challenges and personal issues going on to serve, but you never know how God will use it to heal you and others.